yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
