I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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