His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
