I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize