they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
