we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
