Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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