So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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