well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
