arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
