I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
