Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize