i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
