I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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