escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
