Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
