We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
