Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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