Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize