he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
