i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
