There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
