So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
