"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
