When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
