I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You left your phone here
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