sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
