omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
