Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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