Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
