You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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