i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
