remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
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She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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