We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
