I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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