She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
