roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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