you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
