I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
