if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
