Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
