Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
