yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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