well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I think people are normalizing furries
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
