eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
