This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
