All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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