You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
No subtext here. People are naked.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
