he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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