I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
