Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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