She is in my trunk
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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