dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
