I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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