Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
