What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
