I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
