Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
