Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
