I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize