Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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